Mental Capacity Threshold has been reached...

The stress of the "Big Project" is kind of over. Well, phase 1. And I was hoping for some downtime or at least some breathing space. I have gotten some of that. It's definitely been less stressful of late. But something I was reading about today really struck me. It was an article on multi-tasking and our ability these days to do it so well, in fact we can barely NOT do it. That really applied to me, I though as I read. And what nasty side-effects occur when one is constantly juggling so many things in the air?

I've determined there are three things that I have suffered from since making multi-tasking my primary operation mode:
1- I am never quiet in my head. Ever. Even when I am simply sitting on a couch, I am making lists and worrying and writing potential grants. I am never in silence. This is not good. I probably see this most clearly in my spiritual walk as I haven't stopped long enough to just BE with God. I kinda run in and run out, crying out for peace all the way. I wonder if fifteen minutes of uninterrupted quiet and sitting would really throw my schedule off that much. No, you're right - it wouldn't.
2- I can't look at people. I can't engage anyone in conversation. I've noticed this horrifying trend most when I sit down for coffee with someone and find I cannot look them in the eye for more than five seconds before my brain starts to disengage and begins making lists. This is bad, who wants to know I'm not really listening but simply sitting in their presence?
3- I don't produce clear thoughts in speaking or writing without much effort. I am not as thorough as I usually am. I am acting as if I am burnt out and can't get past this wall in my head. And maybe my mind is protecting me from burn out by shutting off certain things in order to focus me in on more important ones. I don't know.

So, that's the life of this multi-tasker today. I'm praying I can sit in silence this evening for just 15 minutes; in worship, in prayer, in reading. Just 15 minutes of one task, and nothing else creeping in.

"O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you;my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands."

~Psalm 63:1-4