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Today marks a good day and yet a hard day. I am studying through James 4 and I realize it is so good.

"You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure. You adulterers! Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God." ~James 4:2-4 (NLT)

Now-allow me to clarify. I do not live for this world. As Caedmon's Call so eloquently says, "This world has nothing for me and this world has everything/all I could want and nothing that I need". But some days, it's so very difficult to distinguish between God's small, still voice and the ever louder voice of this world that twists truth just enough to make me believe it is still truth when it's deceit.
A current example of this. I have felt like I should change churches. There are no opportunities for me to teach from my heart here. There are too many hoops to jump through to get into leadership. There are no dating prospects who don't already know me and think I'm such a great friend they wouldn't want to date me (okay-this is the least of my issues, I do realize. Be assured I am not basing this move on this at all:)) So I think through these things and yes-I love my church and would like to stay, but part of me can't help but think that maybe I am allowing myself to just get too comfortable. Maybe I do need to move to another church to continue growing God's gift of teaching. Or am I simply passively moving by doing that? What's the answer and why can't I simply just be still in His presence and allow Him to speak to me?? These verses bring realization to me in the form of discerning my motives. As we know by now, I can sometimes allow my singlehood to make decisions for me, so is this a factor? I do not seek fame normally, but is there a small part me that would kind of like to be a youth ministry hero? Is there something I am running from in my current situation? All of these thoughts dance back and forth in my mind and I get more and more anxious about not seeing God's hand in it the longer I think....
What's the answer? Can anyone help me??