Life is better when lived

27's been pretty interesting... I never seem to have enough time for, well anything. I work an awful lot and the time I do have off I fill up pretty quickly with everything I should have been doing while working. This weekend was great though. I pretty much slacked off and watched Matt Damon. yes, all three Jason Bourne movies, one day. It was amazing. But more than anything, lately I've been seeing myself in a new way. Now, most humans are selfish by nature, but lately I've really noticed just how much I tend to assume life will go according to my plan. And as I now have a roommate who expects this even more so (and usually had a better plan to begin with) I realize just how much I need to learn to be humble and let God move outside my boundaries and safe zones.

One safe zone is my life, which sounds really broad I know. But, the plan of my life. My job, my relationship status, everything. the fact that I am 27!!! I feel old, seriously!! Everyone around me tries to say I'm not or that this or that will happen in time... blah, blah, blah. They're like 22 and don't realize that life starts to fall apart at the age of 25. Okay, that might be exaggerating. But what I'm talking about is letting all of those fears that I will have unfulfilled dreams. Psalm 84:11b has been an anchor for this: "God does not withhold any good thing from those who walk uprightly." Right now, there is nothing outside my life that I should have, that God deems good. And let's face it, if it's not God, I don't think it's good. Do I really want a relationship outside of God's provision? No, because it wouldn't be a part of the fairytale He has for me.

Fairytales, there's another great subject. Who in the world thought it was a good idea to make men seem like "knights in shining armor"? I say this not because I'm cynical, but because it really makes me mad when people compare real life people to their fairytale counterparts. You know you've done it. Sound familiar - "Hmm, I sure hope he knows daisies are my favorite and then we'll go to dinner and gaze at each other and then we'll ride off into the park on white horse and..." Yes, we all fantasize like this or worse! And while we realize that no man (or woman) can live up to our fantasy, there is always a residual image left in our minds when we hear about or see these images of perceived perfection. For women, it's chick flicks and romance novels, men probably porn. Whatever it is we treat it so casually when it's ruining our hearts. Well, I suppose I am really speaking to myself, I don't like to generalize and just assume everyone else struggles with this.

So, anyway. back to 27. I dyed my hair tonight. Thought I'd spruce up the brown hair with a couple highlights. I look kind of like a bird accidentally pooped caramel sauce on my head. It's not good. So, when I say I'm learning humility - beauty gone, next!! :) It's really kinda making me laugh though, so it's good.

I need to get into the habit of writing more. Maybe 27 will be the year I start my big novel. Hmmm, we'll just have to see I guess.