You bring me joy!

I title this as such in order to convince myself of this. It's true, God does bring me joy. He restores and renews and strengthens. He is my refuge, my rock. And yet, this world wins sometimes, y'know? Today, the world's winning the fight for my joy. I've been insanely busy at work and not just stuff. It's like brain powered stuff. Writing, designing, configuring, statistics, etc... And there is absolutely no end in sight until the middle of 2008. My brain is done.

And in the midst of all of this chaos, all my heart longs for is someone to come home to and say to me, "No matter what happened today, I love you. Let's watch a movie and have popcorn." And then snuggle and fall asleep content because I know someone is supporting me, someone cares that I'm hurt and bleeding on the inside. Someone sees me as I am, not what I seem like. And yet, the words of coworker come back to me today. "Cass, maybe you need to understand that marriage and kids isn't God's plan for you. If it is, it'll happen on His timetable." But the more I dwell in it, the more I do understand painfully that the statement is so very true. Maybe He does desire singleness for me. But, what about the movie? And the popcorn?? I can't do my life without that kind of support. So, Lord-be my joy, my strength and my refuge once again. If you're leading me to it, you'll bring me through it. In humility and brokenness, I must reclaim my joy and my passion for Him alone. This world can't win every day :)