I love swimming. I mean - like really love it. And I think I know why now. It's a very solo thing, you and the water, underwater you can't hear anything, it's just so relaxing to let the voices be silenced. I like people, but I really am starting to realize there is such a thing as being peopled out. I am not an extrovert at all!! I like my alone time, I kinda savor not speaking for a whole day, I read to escape. So, there you go.
Today I am going swimming and my reasons are many and varied. But mostly, I am just done dealing with things beyond myself. Heck, I'm done dealing with things within myself. Maybe I'm just done dealing... The funny thing is, a song just popped on through my iPod. "Hold On" by Good Charlotte. And the lines goes "We all bleed the same way as you do and we all have the same things to go through". And while this song is primarily about suicide, even in a perfectly mentally healthy person there is a point and place where we just don't wanna do it anymore, whatever it is. And what then? What happens when we stop? Are we really running in futile anyway? I mean, how do we ever know when something is worth our passion and pursuit? All I do know is that things in my life currently have become my passion and pursuit that have nothing to do with my purpose. Coming out of the haze of the last few months, the last thing I need is to be pouring out my freshly caught springs of hope and joy prematurely.
One thing I absolutely love about this blog is that virtually no one reads it, or tells me they do anyway, and I can be so very obscure in referencing. So, good luck deciphering that one my friend. If you get it, I'm proud of you :)
6 years ago
